First Timer Detox!


What a strange experience! I have never successfully done a detox before, I’ve started probably a thousand 14 day Teatoxes but of no fault of my own ūüėČ do I ever get to the end.

Well this time round I made a valiant effort and not only did I follow the food guideline but I managed to choke back the 40 (40!!)¬†herbal pills a day that help with the ol’ flush-a-rooney… Yip you guessed.. I did a bowel detox.. fun times..

We are talking some serious effort on my behalf here, strict food requirements, water intake and as I said an ungodly amount of ¬†herbal pills. You don’t know me yet but I love food and the more of it the better! I would rather have a Saturday night on the couch surrounded by my fav foods than head to the pub, no social butterfly rewards for me this year.

The detox worked! Well the process worked. My aim of the game was to feel a bit healthier, I’m lactose intolerant and have a tendency to eat the things I shouldn’t so surprise surprise I feel crappy most of the time.

This particular detox requires no meat, no processed foods, no legumes or wheat, no starchy or root vegetables, dairy, no this and that, the list goes on and on and on.. Essentially only¬†veg and fruit is allowed, but even then only certain types. I was feeling daunted reading the instructions let alone putting it into effect over 2 weeks. I LOVE MEAT. The idea of only eating vegetables was completely foreign, a meal without meat isn’t a meal at all.

Pinterest here I come! Vegan wheat free recipes are kinda hard to find and to¬†make yummy, especially as my vegetable prowess is limited to boiling some broccoli. I experimented the first few days and resigned myself to eating food I wasn’t enjoying and then I remembered that I was allowed to eat curry! Thai Red Curry to be exact. Ah what a life saver. What followed was a litany of curries with the occasional¬†spiralized ‘pasta’ dishes and granny smith apples.

The first 5 days I felt weak as a kitten, my body didn’t quite know what to do with less coming in and different substances than usual. With the herbals pills you take you have to ease into the full amount, so for the first few days you take less. Well let me tell you by the time you get to the full dosage you know its working.

Roughly by day 10 I felt AMAZING, my skin was clearer, my stomach was waaay less bloated and I wasn’t feeling nauseous for the first time in a long time. I could see the outline of my ribs again! Those have been in hibernation for a long time, mostly because I’m constantly bloated from cheese haha really should cut that one out..

Enough blathering..

End result – I lost a little bit of weight and I felt amazing, surprisingly I’ve continued¬†a lot of the dietary recommendations just because its good to not feel so crap and I would definitely do it again.. and because I don’t want anyone having a bitch at me make sure you check with your doc if its right for you first ūüėČ


Anyway its late and I feel like I’ve written a novel, catch ya later xo

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